More people are suffering from depression, mental illness or from depressive feelings.
I’m surprised to hear that 75% of people who committed suicide are men. Listening to his TV programme makes me feel many of them take too much of others’ opinions and expectations to assess whether they are doing alright or not, and they feel they are under pressure. If they are not meeting others’ expectations, then they feel they are not worthy, not useful, not worthy. Is it really the case? What makes them feel why it matters so much to worry about others’ opinions on you?
Don’t worry too much about how others are expecting you to live your life, but make a decision based on what you really want to do with passion. You need to live your life as you, not someone else. You don’t need to satisfy others’ needs all the time, which is impossible. Trying to meet is a wonderful thing IF you want to.
Life is too short. If there are any problems, there are so many counsellors and therapists available. It’s ok to cry and feel sad, which happens sometimes in life.
Literally, you can get any help living in the UK, developed countries. You need to think about how fortunate you are by having something to eat, a place to live, health, a body you can move around, money however small, info and support available online and offline, etc. Life is never a perfect thing and shit happens but you can get out of there sometime.
I have posted many free videos on my Youtube channel about how to get over difficult situations. Have a look? Or simply get your phone to ask for help to any organizations or groups you want to reach out.
Yesterday was a day of rain and the wind was blowing strongly, and it was as if we were trying to clear the bad energy of confusion and criticism going on now.
Entertainers and celebrities go out into the media, so depending on how they say things, the general public may be manipulated and get influenced.
It’s better not to swallow what they are saying as it is.
For example, Piers M denied totally what Meghan said as depressed, suicidal and discriminated. He stepped down and she sued him.
”I don’t believe what she says at all.”
In the newspaper, it was closed up as a reverse grudge of love as he didn’t receive phone calls from her after he dated her. Due to this, his claim of her insult to the Monarchy was not focused on, but he received over 4000 compliments as he needed to be more compassionate to people with depression. However, when I look at the comments on the BBC news, there are quite a few people who are sceptical and unreliable about Megan’s personality and what she claimed, like he said.
A big mistake of Piers was
He didn’t explain well with a fact or a reason why he does not believe her but walked off with anger.
He needed to control his emotions and should have thought about his delivery and consequences. He should have quoted what clinical depression is xxxx, and she should not use it as one card, for example, and explains his view properly why.
Meghan said she was suicidal and depressed but she had to do all the engagements. If that was the case, it shoud be very tough for her, left alone, no support she was not receiving, away from the US home, different culture, different class, different role, etc.
In Japan, for example, current empress Masako suffered from depression and certainly couldn’t do official duties for more than two years, and there was a time when she couldn’t do anything about public engagements. I’m glad she is well now and does all the engagements with the proper Royal protocols. That is a real depression.
I don’t know how serious Meghans’ case was but she should see a doctor if she is depressed or is suffering from any other mental illness if she claims she was suicidal.
Clinically, a doctor gives a diagnosis as depression if a person has more than 5 specific symptoms over 2 weeks including, withdrawing from activities, meeting people, etc. I wonder whether that was her case or not. If she does, she needs to see a doctor.
There are so many different symptoms and ab-reactions in mental illness, and when I was studying in the Psychotheraoy course, I was like
”Eh, this symptom is a reaction that xxx always does, isn’t it?”
Even without a doctor’s diagnosis, mental illness can be found in a day to day communication and relationships such as, just as an example,
There’s a hyped emotional reaction which is unexpected
Heat up emotionally quickly
There’s violence.
Even if you plan something with someone, his/her mind and body are unstable, so they cancel last minute or do not reply you back.
Blame you intensively but they don’t take accountability on their behaviours.
They criticize and manipulate skillfully to make you feel guilty.
They withdraw from activities and such.
From my personal experience, even if there is no diagnosis of a mental illness such as depression, there are quite a few people who seem to have symptoms and act out, so be especially careful when making negative remarks for the other party.
In the UK, it is said 1 out 4 people experience depression in their life, so it is quite high.
Both British and Japanese cultures are similar in a way, so if you communicate very straightforward like many Americans do such as
You’re like this, I hate you, I don’t like it! etc.
It is better to be prepared to be labelled and removed from your peers. Many Britons and also Japanese don’t like it and keep you away without saying anything. It is regarded as rude, with no respect, no sensitivity, especially if communicating a negative view in many cases, especially in a personal relationship. Work-wise, different story.
Now, what and how would you tell when you need to express a negative opinion to the other person?
When I worked for the American company, it was the hardest company ever in my career as politics were everywhere which I disliked.
You cannot just say to your boss like
xxx trouble happened. What should I do?
They will tell you, think about solutions and come back.
If you just ignore and don’t report problems to your boss, again, you would be blamed as to why didn’t you report it.
So at the work situation, you need always – Report – Consultation – give facts and references in direct manners as possible.
are necessary to your boss and make it transparent. BUT don’t accuse your boss publicly or your seniors as they may revenge you.
If it is a personal situation, it can be tricky so you need to see other peoples’ personalities too.
When people have a problem and have to communicate it to others, there are patterns you can see.
They tell you openly and straightforward
They know it but don’t want to face it, so avoid it and don’t respond to anything
They blame people for xx
They respond, face it timely and focus on what needs to be done
Gossip people
They think about their situation and change the content to convey it
They don’t respond until the last minute
They think about future counter-measures and crisis counter-measures
Make a statement or rant about the other person’s personality or behaviour
And so on.
Now, how do you tell your negative opinion or comment to others?
Now we are in the Air era, communication is very important. You can learn how to communicate to build good relationships, not to destroy relationships.
Prince Harry and Meghan’s interviews are aired every day, and it has become a hot topic in British newspapers as the top stories.
The Queen sent out a message that ”it” is concerning and we should speak in private’.
We can learn from other people including this case.
Well, when people face very difficult problems, you can see their real personalities from – Their ego is screaming as they want to be acknowledged. – Tricks and manipulation they use to negotiate – What kind of things they say and do – Then, you can see the person’s true personality, such as.
Threat your opponent’s weaknesses and get what you want
Control others’ mind and manipulate them
Demand what you want without thinking about consequences
Get only what you want and do not care about others’ situations
Hide your true intensions and get what you want as a blackmail
Never humbly reflect why people are not agreeing with you, or why you don’t receive support. -> You need to EARN trust from others before you demand anything.
This is the worst way of negotiation and it is so self-centered.
A better negotiation is – listening to the other party’s case and reasons well. – understanding them because there should be a reason for it, and – looking for a middle-point where you can agree with each other
Otherwise, we can not build a good relationship for a long time.
Their way of doing things, a scandalous way to get attention from the public (so Hollowood), is in the form of interviews as the surface format, but it can be the same as public blackmail to the Monarchy. They can’t sue the Royal family, so this is an alternative way, blackmail connotation via the media.
If a person has a strong victim consciousness, unhealed wounds and narcissism, this type of bad negotiation and attitude can happen.
Bullying, depressions, competition, jealous, etc, anything goes as they are also humans and you need to deal with it. It’s not discrimination, but each person’s preference on she or he becomes friends and support whom, etc.. No royal family members in Japan sells their miserable royal life to the media there. If they do, It would be a huge shame and no respect.
Hope they move on and learn how to make a living not depending on the Royal funding/ British people’s tax. That’s true independence. If they want freedom, let go of all the titles and entitlement and make a living by their own power. Or they can come back to the Monarchy and do all the engagements with the Royal standard, no more blackmail or threat via the media to the Monarchy and their family.
We can learn from other people how we are negotiating with other people.
I do see a lot of patterns and parental issues here. If you leave any difficult situations with your parents’ relationship, your life may not work like theirs.
Have a look at our video course to improve a relationship with your parents and have a happier life.
Meghan and Prince Harry I don’t know how tough it was about what Mehgan went through but she has a full of victim consciousness. What she claims may be true from her point of view, but spiritually she created the situation and does not take responsibility for the consequences, though I’m sure there were so many unfair things that happened to her.
For example, I’m not traditional enough, and I cannot belong anywhere too conservative and too traditional, so the royal family can’t be my choice to be welcomed as a daughter-in-law, even how wonderful the Royal family is. The royal protocol would probably suffocate me. They stay Royal and I choose my path, which is more peaceful, no dramas.
I don’t know how much she knew about the Royal family life style’s restrictions, but she has a vibe of ‘I’m not good enough’ covered with narcissism and has a full of drama energy for an attention-seeking.
Think about it, when Will Smith came to London, I didn’t see any hatred or criticism of him at all. He was so welcomed. Same black Americans. Why was he accepted but why wasn’t she accepted?
I know a couple of guys who are British black but they are very popular among men and women from all sorts of different races and nationalities.
When Donald T, a white guy, came here, so many protests were happening in the UK, even though he is white.
It’s easy to blame the skin colour as being discriminated against, but at the deep bottom, it is not the skin colour, but PERSONALITY, which is the energy people feel. Whether a person can be trusted or not, not messing around, not deceiving, safe or not, etc. that is the first thing people check each other, even without talking about it. It just comes as an impression and a vibration. People are not that stupid. People check others’ behaviours quietly and judge whether they can trust others or feel safe or not.
She said she didn’t get support from the Royal family but the Royal family said there was the same support available when Kate got married.
This just tells me that Meghan was not earning support. People would not give support unless they see ‘something’ there, quite often, especially even risking their positions. I assume there may be a part of Meghan puts off everyone else in the palace and maybe because of that, she didn’t get support. Just an assumption. However, everyone was welcoming her at the beginning, according to Harry. Again, it’s not skin colour, but can be a way or communication, and personality but Oprah didn’t ask any insightful questions to them to think about their own responsibilities on all the consequencies.
I’m not white but some people still like me but some others may not, but it may be because of my skin colour as racism or it could be a personality incompatibility, which I don’t care about. I go for a personality and the way of thinking, not for a skin-colour and the class.
I feel so sorry for the Queen but she also needed to experience this as a lesson for the entire royal family. They should have checked thoroughly taking time more than a year if Mehgan could follow the Royal protocol or not including culture difference, her ambitious mind, class difference, personality compatibility, etc. before she was accepted. Especially the birth chart tells a lot about the person.
She could have addressed issues more in a diplomatic way, not so confrontational by bringing and exposing them to the media. Private life should stay private, and she just keeps burning all the bridges.
At the end of the day, she needs to take responsibility as she chose to marry Harry within only a year before confirming she will be ok with the Royal protocol. Her own consequences are happening but she is not taking responsibility. My prediction was it would not work as she is not compatible with Kate, William and even Harry fundamentally from the birth charts, and more than that because of her own family relationship troubles.
I personally don’t want her into my family and friends’ network. She seems to be a trouble maker though she may not be. Harmony and respect for other family members are not there. I think Prince Harry needed to think twice as many of his friends didn’t get on well with her, which is a sign (depends on a friend), and he is the prince, not an ordinary guy. Wherever she goes with whomever, it would not work with her current consciousness. Hope they will learn and move on, then there will be no more dramas and PR from the US.
However they don’t like the Royal family, they should still be humble and appreciate as they received million pounds of funding and support their LA life from the Royal family without them doing any Royal duties. If the Kingdom cuts out the funding, how would the young couple live in a million-dollar mansion in LA? They should start learning how to make a living on their own without complaining at the same time receiving funds.
Their patterns seem to be – based on fear and narcissism, and – demand that things HAVE to be done for their favours. – no good communication among the family, but bring up personal issues to the public – if not working in their way, sue others to win the case. – they need to sell their negative personal stories to the media to claim they are right.
They started receiving training 10 years ago and lived together in a tiny apartment together for 3 years long. Sharing the space, sometimes arguing, but they are known they respect each other and treat well.
If you go to Youtube, there are so many videos posted about them, their life, off-stage lifestyle, etc. You can find so much laughter and they are entertaining. I didn’t get into any Korean entertainment before but they are funny.
7 different guys still young between 23-29 years old, of course, they are still growing, ambitious, and their wants and needs get conflicted each other, as a normal thing but the beauty is they get together and have a meeting every time when they have troubles and issues each other and resolve them.
I was surprised to see these Korean guys were crying and those videos were posted to the public. Korean culture is very famous as a very chauvinistic culture (from my view), and I didn’t expect it but the generation is changing, maybe. They don’t hide it and I kind of like it as men should cry too if they want!
So, they never accuse each other in public and media, and you can see they gel each other really well and you can feel it from their songs and dances. There are many humorous videos about them and how they are playful with each other and have fun in practices, travels, shooting, and even on the actual stage performances.
They are so open to talk about what they have gone through and put them into their lyrics as they think many other people probably go through similar situations and issues like them and encourage them.
They are very down to earth and I just found out you will get a lot of fan service if you go to their concerts. Various fun entertainments are there on site. BTS is famous they treat their fan really well, and it is not only for money-making.
What I sense from them are – choose love, not ego, not fear, not competition, no narcissism. – respect each other’s differences and love each other. – they take care of themselves knowing their own limit. – not pretending they are someone else like a celebrity. Very much they are who they are and down to earth. – communicate among them and find a solution. – they wear masks and care for others not to get contracted. – help and support each other, especially other members’ weakness, not blame others. – and more than anything else, they practised hard 12-16h a day and earned their success taking over 10 years.
You may think it is a cultural difference. Of course, there is a cultural and environmental difference. But the question is, what is more comfortable for you beyond skin colours and cultures?
If you choose someone to become friends, who will you choose?
We can even learn from that choice you make as it reflects your own important values.
How to improve your communication, relationships and life? Have you ever thought about, – If Mehgan was brought up by Korean parents in Korea? – If BTS members were brought up by American parents in the US?
What changes may be possible?
Many of our personality and way of thinkings are shaped by how we were brought up and how we interpret it.
If you want to make a change in life, you can change yourself, not others, especially you can learn from the relationship with your parents.
There are so much we can learn from how BTS members treat people, South-Korean pop singers’ group. I’m so impressed in many ways as many of the cares and respect they show are actually missed or disappeared in a modern life, especially in big cities.
Today is about the teamwork and support for each other.
It may be also related to the culture difference as the Eastern culture is more collective, whilist the Western caulture is more indivualistic. There are pros and cons on both cultures.
At an emergency time like the Corona pandemic, Eastern culture’s collectice approach is more successful as you can see in the Covid-situation. Contracted cases are overall very low and people cooperate more with each other and the government, and they wear masks, social distancing and stay home, which contributes a lot to contain the virus spreading.
On the other hand, the Western countries such as the UK and the US, as you know, it is not the case as many people don’t care, not wearing a face cover, no social distancing, partying, riots against the gov’t and such for asking for individual freedom. People go on holiday, go out for socializing and don’t care they are spreading virus under the pandemic even though the governments are asking them to cooperate to stay home and wear masks.
So the individual system is good to create stars but it creates a lot of competitions, jealousy, and inflating egos. The Eastern way has a lot of downside as it asks you to compromise to go for your unique way, a stardom, etc. but it creates a lot of harmony and care each other.
BTS’s approach on how to treat other members creates harmony and genuine support for each other as the Eastern approach, but they also have a system where an individual member can create songs and utilize their own unique talents. They created a unique mixture of good aspects of the Eastern and Western cultures, which is a cause of their huge worldwide success. BTS as a group are the star and each individual member is also a star.
They use good organizational psychology. It does not create a one-member-standing-out star system but all of them, 7 of them, are the stars as the group. All of them are characters and so I imagine it was not easy to gel each other at the beginning but they found a way. They always have a meeting and talk about issues to solve. Communication is a key.
We can apply this approach anywhere in -a corporate system – family dynamic – marriage – friendship and such.
For example,
Husband is a star and wife is like a maid, -> it can be gone.
Older corporate workers do all the fantastic jobs -> subordinates and assistants can be trained.
Star player earns a huge amount of money -> other members should be paid more as they are supporting the star player.
No one can establish an amazing work without support from other people.
BTS has about 100 staff who are supporting them, so they are the extension of BTS, and BTS members know it and acknowledge their support.
Think about how you can make your life better and recognize what support you are receiving from people around you?
